Week Four Writing Assignment

Stamina
Take care of yourself: Maintain your stamina and let go of guilt.

Hmmm... do I take good care of myself? Physically, so-so. I do try to eat healthy, but I don't think I've gotten good exercise ever since I quit basketball, and I usually sacrifice sleep for homework or to talk with somebody. Mentally, I could do a whole lot better. When I'm down, I get so caught up with the mess in my head → can't do anything about it → my self-esteem deflates → I feel even more depressed... and so I go down the spiral of negativity. In a sense, it's the opposite of "Summit Fever," as my inner conflicts totally block my view of the summit.

To let it all out, I go through all sorts of measures. Today, I tried to concentrate on different things by going to my circle or riding my bicycle. It took my mind off of my troubles, and lifted my mood. But when I really want to come to terms with my problem, I talk to my mom, friends I can trust, and my counselor. Even if the words come out in irregular or awkward spurts, verbalizing my thoughts helps me to sort out what I'm really thinking or feeling. Each person's feedback or understanding of my problem is a reflection of me shown in different mirrors. I really appreciate what others tell me and it helps me to get a grip and figure out my opinion from there.

I really have a hard time letting people know when they do something that I dislike. My brain freezes, I can't say anything. I can feel the discomfort grow within me. But before I even acknowledge that feeling, my mind skips to the possible consequences which may arise if I react according to that feeling. I think to myself, "Hold on, should I really be feeling this way? Maybe I'm over-thinking..." and try to let go of that disappointment. However, after a while, I am reminded of the discomfort and regret for not standing up for myself. I talked about this to my counselor. He told me that what I was doing wasn't wrong and that I shouldn't excessively blame myself. He said that when I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I should first stop and take note of the fact that I'm feeling bad, instead of skipping to uncertain conclusions. Acknowledging emotions is very important, and it is the first step to forgiving yourself. We can learn from these experiences and be better prepared should another similar situation arise.


... which reminds me, picture books really cheer me up. Even though they're written in simple words, they seem to hold a different meaning every time you read them depending on how old you are or the situation you're in. This is a page from a book which has a whole collection of drawings and messages:




It reads:
Struggles and strife
Forgetting them would make things so much easier
But it's remembering them which makes us try harder
And learning from them which makes us stronger

(p.10)

(Hope I don't get in trouble with copyright..!)

Works Cited
ボンボヤージュ『ちびギャラ』ゴマブックス株式会社 2004年